Orthodox Lent - -

The Orthodox do just about everything by the calendar. We in this country have gotten totally away from the natural rhythms of the earth. Most of us do not live and/or work in the country anymore. We have become a nation of urban dwellers who live and work indoors. The most nature that the majority of us are exposed to is getting into and out of the car at home and at work. And a significant percentage of us have garages in the house now. We are usually somewhat aware of the climate, but don’t feel the rhythms of the earth. Our jobs usually don’t change, no matter what it is doing outside.It usually seems a bit strange to people until they have been in the Church for a few years, and then the gentle cycle of the calendar brings them a bit closer to the natural rhythms of God’s creation. An excellent example is the Orthodox entry into Lent. Now Lent is a time of intense prayer and fasting for the majority of Christians in the world. The Orthodox, the Romans, the Coptics all celebrate Lent as preparation for Pascha (Easter). Only some of the Western Protestants do not.

As an aside I will point out that fasting is regarded as a supercharger for prayer. If you are not going to intensively pray then fasting doesn’t really do you a whole lot of good (well, maybe a bit less calories).

The west is used to Lent starting the Roman way - big blowout on Fat Tuesday (Shrove Tuesday, Mardi Gras), then getting contrite and smearing ashes on the forehead on Ash Wednesday. This works for them, I guess, but I really prefer the Orthodox way.

First, there is the week of Meatfare two weeks before the beginning of Lent. This is the last normal week where anything and everything may be consumed except on Wednesday and Friday, the normal fasting days. The week after Meatfare is Cheesefare, where anything except meat can be consumed the whole week.

I suppose I had better review the Orthodox fasting guidelines, which are really more abstaining than fasting as we understand it in the West. It is more than a little rough to think about not eating for 56 days, and the Orthodox Church is very gentle. A strict fast of the Lenten variety is no meat, no fish, no dairy, no wine, no olive oil. What is allowed is shellfish, veggies, beer, and any oil that is not olive oil. It is also considered good fasting practice not to eat before evening, if possible. The fast is usually tailored to the capabilities and needs of the individual so that not all will be strict fasting. Those forbidden to fast would be growing children, the sick, pregnant or nursing women and people who are doing demanding and/or dangerous work. For the record, Our Lord did not say “if you fast”, He said “when you fast”. He also recommended a low profile. It is considered good Orthodox manners to eat that which is set in front of you and not make a big deal about fasting when visiting a non-Orthodox friend. It is also considered good form not to deliberately put yourself in a position of breaking the fast if it can be done gracefully.

The actual entry into Lent is called Forgiveness Sunday, as Lent proper begins following Forgiveness Vespers. In the service the prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian is recited and the first prostrations of Lent take place.

O Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, despondency, lust of power and idle talk.
(Prostration)

But grant unto me, Thy servant, a spirit of chastity, humility, patience and love.
(Prostration)

Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see mine own faults and not to judge my brothers and sisters. For blessed art Thou unto ages of ages. Amen.
(Prostration)

O God, cleanse Thou me a sinner (12 times, with as many bows, and then again the whole prayer from the beginning throughout, and after that one great prostration)

The culmination of Forgiveness Vespers is when a full prostration is done before each member of the congregation. This is one of the very few times that prostration is done on Sunday. Sunday is the day of Resurrection and, although we are not worthy, Our Lord raised us to the status of sons and daughters and we normally stand as befits heirs of the Kingdom.

I suppose I had better describe prostrations. A full prostration is when you put knees, hands and forehead to the floor. It is good to give a bit of room between the people or they can bang heads - very uncomfortable. It is always awkward when someone tries it Western style, which is to go to one knee, struggle to get the opposing knee down, bow, up to the knees, one foot down, and then try to rise from the opposing knee on the one foot. The correct way is not difficult - if the joints and muscles are fit. Rock slightly forward to the balls of the feet while sinking to both knees, bend forward at the waist while keeping the toes curled up and in contact with the floor while placing the hands on the floor and then the forehead. As you rise from the floor with the forehead, give a light spring of the hands while bringing the body upright, rock back to the balls of the feet while rising from the knees to the standing position. With very little practice it becomes quite natural and easily done. The practical way of handling the line is everyone lines up on the right side of the church and as they get to the clergy, they do the prostration and then form a line on the left of the church so that each person may prostrate before all the other members. Of course, those who are not physically fit do not do the prostrations, they just bow to the other person. And those who need it can put a chair down and bow from the sitting position.

As each person makes the prostration they ask the other person’s forgiveness, usually with the phase “Forgive me, my brother (or sister)”. The normal response is “May God forgive us all”. If there is some reason for a more personal plea or response that is frequently done. The standard Eastern kiss is given after the declaration of forgiveness, an embrace with the kiss alternating cheeks three times.

Now this may seem a bit odd to those who have never seen it, but - let me tell you, it makes a great deal of difference in your life when you ask forgiveness - and mean it. This also means that you are asking the forgiveness of your spouse and children. I cannot speak for women, but I can tell you that as a man, a husband, and a father it makes you examine your relationships within your family very closely.

It is a wonderful and gentle way of entering into the preparation for the Celebration of the Resurrection.

Forgive me, my brothers and sisters, if I have offended you.

May God forgive us all our sins.

The peace loving religion of Islam and the evil crusaders -

We in America (and the west in general) have an interesting revisionist way of looking at history. Lately we want to tear down anything to do with Western civilization and elevate anyone else to good guy status. You know the modern western (liberal) attitude: Don’t bother me with facts, my mind’s already made up. After all, all of those nasty 19^th century European historians HAD to be wrong because they were such racists and jingoists and all the other bad ists that they were blinded by. People - take off your own blinders and look at history as facts and nothing else.

Let us take the western view of Islam and the crusades. It is popular (and has been for some time) to portray the Europeans who took the Crusades to the East as uneducated barbarians who invaded a peaceful, educated, highly civilized Islamic Empire for no reason except greed and a desire to extend European Hegemony.

Let us look at a few historical facts:

Mohammed was a kook. In the good old American New England Theosophical Society mold: If you don’t like current churches, start your own. If we look at historical records that the Moslems would like buried, we find that Mohammed desperately wanted to be some type of religious guru. He first tried to be accepted by the Orthodox Christian Bishops in Mecca. They rather gently told him that he would have to become a monk and work his way up through the ranks. They were not about to make him a bishop and let him play prophet. Mohammed next tried to get in with the Jews and be accepted as a prophet. They firmly rejected him and told him to get lost. Next he rolled his own. Notice that he felt totally rejected by both Jews and Christians (and he was). Where he found his initial followers is anyone’s guess. But note that both Jim Jones and Charles Manson seem to have had no problem in getting the weak of mind and despondent of spirit to follow them.

The First Crusade was in 1095 as a response to a request for help from Alexis I of the Byzantine Empire to Pope Urban II. The Moslems had been butchering the Byzantine Empire since the beginning, 624 or thereabouts. Christianity had spread across the whole of the Roman Empire and beyond by proselytizing, the spread of Islam was by the sword of conquest, murder and rapine.

The Arabs were not an educated people. There was no great flowering of high civilization in the Arabian peninsula. It takes natural resources to support civilization, and the Arabian peninsula is a little under endowed. Where then, did the high civilization that the Crusaders saw come from? Actually, it was there before the Moslem conquest. The Moslems took it over from the Byzantine Christians. When the Arabs conquered they generally left the Jews and Christians alone other than taking their wealth and placing them in second class conquered status. They usually kept the Byzantine bureaucrats in place. They generally kept Byzantine professionals on the job. Up through the Ottoman conquest, just about all administration was done by conquered Christians. This was the civilization that the Westerners saw. The Arabs did NOT invent algebra, the Byzantines did. In fact, Moslems have contributed nothing to the modern world except pain, suffering, destruction and murder of the innocent.

Now, I’m not saying the Crusaders were perfect, far from it. It is true that the Crusaders killed as many or more Byzantine Christians than Moslems. They looked a lot alike. Middle Eastern people with robes, etc. It is true that the later Crusaders, not the Moslems, dealt the death blow to the Byzantine Empire. The Crusaders destroyed more of Constantinople than the Moslems did.

Now then, if we look at a history timeline, we will see that the Moslem invasion of Europe officially began with the invasion of Spain around 719. Most historians place the crest of the Moslem wave at the battle of Tours in 732. Charles Martel defeated the invaders handily and is credited with having saved Western Europe. This was certainly the rise of the Carolingians if nothing else.

The Battle of Tours was not the end of things. Moslem invasions took place off and on until the Battles of Lepanto (1571) and the last, Vienna in 1683.

It should be noted that the first (Tours) and last (Vienna) were great and desperate struggles fought on European soil. In between, most of the fighting took place in the East, leaving Europe free to have its own internal wars and to come into the Renaissance and beyond. This development could not have taken place if the Moslem Empires from the Umayyad through the Ottoman had not been forced into stalemate in the East.

I know that many people want to talk about the Crusades as misplaced moral wars. Study Clauswitz and the philosophy and causality of war before you go there. Study the science of root causes of war. The stated legal justification for the war is never the real cause of the war. Many people also want to place blame on Western Europe, but really, the first battles were in Spain and France, not the Middle East. So who invaded? It is hard to place the blame for the invasion of Europe on the Europeans. (The same people that think that Americans are reponsible for 9/11 could pull it off). For that matter, we think of the middle East as Moslem, not remembering the great Byzantine Empire that the Moslems tore apart. Moslems are the invaders and aggressors in every historical conflict.

I don’t like George Bush. Not for the same reasons that the liberals hate him. No, for me, he is not nearly conservative or resolute enough. The immigration forgiveness bill made me sick. But - he does have a grasp of the fact that we (the West) are still being invaded by fanatical Moslems intent on conquest and the destruction of our civilization. We either fight them there, or surely we will fight them here. If someone wishes to war with us, then people will die, children will suffer. I suppose it is a bit of a provincial attitude that I have: If the suffering and dying take place because of the actions of some other people, I prefer that it is their people who suffer, not ours. The main thing to remember is that the Moslem terrorists are not fighting for freedom or food or a better future for their children. They hate us. They want to kill us. They want to destroy our civilization. They want to obliterate our culture. And IF they let our children live, they want them to be slaves under Sharia law totally subservient to their Moslem masters.

God Rest Ye Merry - -

- - Merchants, May you make the Yuletide Paaay - Tom Lehrer.

Of all the curious phenomena that I observe in our schizophrenic society none is more amusing than the modern attitude toward Christmas.

As I have observed on more than one occasion, Christmas is Christ’s Mass, the celebration of the Incarnation of God as Man, and the first act of the re-creation of the fallen world by Christ. That’s the anchor, and we’ll come back to it in a bit.

First off, the nuttier Christian haters really don’t need to worry. The destruction of Christmas is taking place whether or not they help it along. There is nothing that the anti-Christian crowd can do that is as damaging to Christians as that which so many have done to themselves. Oh, you don’t think that they are Christian haters? They are really atheists and object to any religion? Could be, but by my experience they do persecute Christians and do not go after Moslems. I grant you that some of the more ignorant and self-righteous fringies who claim to be Christian can be pretty obnoxious, but there is some genuine concern that their fellow man experience salvation. The more poisonous aspects of their behavior are purely human cussedness and cannot be justified by any formal Christian theology. This is not true of the Moslems, where killing unbelievers, rape, and slavery are all considered virtuous behavior and earn credits toward paradise. I don’t see the “no religion” crowd tackling them. The idiots are anti-Christian, not anti-religion, or perhaps they just lack the guts to really follow their mouths with true action. Or, more likely, this shows their true stripes - just anti-Christian. Note that the majority of those who want no public Christian displays also do not want us to win in the current war with Islam. There is a common and current delusion that the “terrorists” are just extremists comparable to some of our own extremists. Not so. The extremists that come from the Christian societies have to roll their own theology. It is not and never has been part of the central Christian dogma that hatred is good. “Love your enemies” is Christian, not Moslem. (”Love your enemies - and drive ‘em nuts” is Dave Gardner). What we of the modern world think of as Moslem extremism is, in fact, part of their central belief system. Those who think differently have not studied Islam. The greatest example of the big lie in the modern era is not Hitler and the Nazis. It is that the Moslem world has managed to portray itself as a peaceful religion. Bull. Study the real deal and you will find that death to unbelievers is at the core, along with rape and slavery. The Moslems have killed and enslaved more people than any other group in the history of the world. (Try 270,000,000 dead from Moslem murders). Contrariwise, there is no way that anyone can justify murder, rape, and slavery in Christian doctrine. If the anti-religion nuts were really true to their statements they would run all the Moslems out of this country before they even started worrying about Christians.

Even without the leftist attacks on Christmas we are in trouble. The current commercialization of Christmas has done more damage than all the atheists that ever were. The current orgy of consumerism in December is a pagan midwinter festival that has absolutely nothing to do with the incarnation of Christ. The Christmas tree is a pagan leftover from the Germans. This gift-giving extravaganza is more damaging to Christ’s Mass than having the pagans persecute us. Also, you might think about the huge number of Christmas musical pieces that have nothing to do with Christ. Dashing through the snow, silver bells, snowmen and all the rest of that sort of dreck have nothing to do with the Birth of Our Lord.

The other destructive force is so much more subtle and insidious that most Christians don’t have a clue that it is dangerous. I speak of the Western view of Christmas as exemplified in “Silent Night”. The “sweet baby” Jesus figure so beloved by the West has little to do with the mighty God who is Master of the Universe. The Eastern Church says that the Womb of Mary is “more spacious than the Heavens” for she contained the Master and Creator of the Heavens for 9 months within her body. The “Holy Family:” Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus is not the Trinity: Father, Son, Holy Spirit that should be the focus of the Christian. It is easy to be seduced by the “sweetness” of the Holy Family imagery and to forget that the Christian is called to constant and intense spiritual warfare. In the imagery of the West, the paintings depicting the birth of Christ are usually extremely romantic in style. All kinds of sentimental feelings are displayed and evoked by these tender images. Contrast that with Eastern Iconography. The Incarnation icons are usually rather stark and frequently busy with details all around the borders that depict the various things associated with the birth. Unless it is an 18^th century icon with a great deal of Italian influence, that is. Then you may see some Western romanticism, but not otherwise.

Herself sez: Here is an excellent example of the Orthodox Icon of the Nativity of Our Lord:

The Theotokos (The Mother of God) lies quietly after giving birth. She is looking worriedly at Joseph (lower left corner) who is being tempted by Satan in the guise of an old man. (We know that Satan can take many guises - from the voices of doubt in our minds, to the temptations of secular life, to simply missing our prayers.) In the lower right corner, the midwives bathe the Infant in wonder that He was born without violating His Mother’s Virginity. Above the midwives, a shepherd plays a pipe. On the left of the Theotokos and Christ, we see the Magi riding on beautiful horses and following the mystery of the Star. Above them, the Angels sing. Over all is seen the Star of the Nativity. In the upper right corner, the angels announce to stunned shepherds that Christ is Born! All around, we can see the mountains clapping their hands (”let the floods clap their hands and let the hills be joyful together.” [Psalms 98:8]) In the very center of the Icon is Christ, bathed in the Light of the Star, lying in the manger. The animals gaze at Him in wonder. As according to Orthodox tradition, the Nativity of Christ is depicted in a cave, not in a building.

As Christians, we should indeed fight against the forces that would make us second-class citizens. But we should also remember that salvation and spiritual growth is more important than comfort. It may be easier for us to live the Christian life of prayer, fasting, and struggle without all the external distractions of the “Merry Merchants”. Perhaps we should think about ignoring the whole mess of public extravaganza and concentrate on the aspects of salvation that we are offered.

If we look at the ads we see silly people asking snotty children if they believe in Santa Claus and the poisonous little examples of consumerism replying that they believe in cashmere. I think that we should abandon that whole trail to the people who think of it as having some importance. There is no salvation in Santa Claus or in cashmere. We know that our Salvation is in and through Christ, and that to grow in Him daily through the Holy Spirit is our belief and our goal.

Let the merchants have the pagan mid-winter festival. Let the great unwashed have their festival without Christian symbols, for we know that only in Christ are we participating in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Christmas [Christ's Mass] is in the Church and the home, not the mall or the Internet store.

Herself sez: On December 25 / January 7, and not before, we will chant in Church:

Troparion of Nativity, Tone 4

Thy Nativity, O Christ our God, hath shone upon the world the light of wisdom! For by it, they who worshipped the stars, were taught by a star to adore Thee: the Sun of Righteousness, and to know Thee, the Orient from on high! O Lord, glory be to Thee.

Kontakion of the Nativity, Tone 3

Today the virgin gives birth to the Transcendent One, and the earth offers a cave to the Unapproachable One! Angels with shepherds glorify Him, the Magi journey with the Star! Since for our sake the Pre-eternal God is born as a Little Child!

As noted by the Ol’ Curmudgeon, there is no place for commercialism or consumerism in either the Icon or the Hymnography of the Nativity!

What is a man -

Forgive me if I drag the Church in fairly heavily. I am an Orthodox Christian - and I do mean way down deep - all the way. I cannot discuss things that really mean much to me without explaining the Church’s position. Especially since in this country “Christian” has become such a pejorative, partly due to the antics of the fringier protestants, and partly due to the reactionary hatred of Christianity (as mis-understood) by the phase 4 liberals. Remember my 5 classes of politics? I find it interesting that the ACLU is all for the University of Michigan (I think?) putting in footbaths for Moslem students at $25,000, but has a hernia if some Christian wants to pray on campus. Lets see - Christians are worse than people who want to kill us? Shows the consistency of modern hatred of Christians.This whole Sex/Sexuality/Gender thing is somewhat overrated. Look here, lets start with sexuality. We here in America think that where there’s an itch, it must be scratched. Pish and likewise tush. In the Orthodox Church we have had gay priests for CENTURIES. Here’s the rules: a married man may be Ordained. However all Bishops are single (either widowers or never married), and no ordained man may become married. If one is gay, then one confesses same. If one is ordained and/or living the Christian life, there is NO sex outside marriage. Period. We do not get emotional about what lights your fire - there is NO sin in being attracted to the same sex. You just don’t have to follow the itch if you are not married to same. (I’m only speaking within the Church, this is not directed at anyone outside). Even active gays are dealt with the same as anyone else who is having sex outside marriage. This is not to say that the Bishops don’t look extra hard before they ordain someone gay - they do. And said individual does not go around blabbing it to the rest of the world. Gossip, cruelty, indifference are just as deadly as licking the wrong organ if not more so. Please note: we do not think that our views should be the law of the land. These rules are for us, not everyone else. And outside the church we rather think that each individual must make up his own mind as long as he harms no one else. Please note that Church doctrine and the position of the individual in that Church are not always the same. Individual Orthodox are just as capable as anyone else of being cruel assholes. They just don’t have Church backing in hatred. There is no place for hatred within the heart of the practicing Christian. It must be rooted out with prayer, fasting, and confession. Hatred is a deadlier sin than just about any other and separates us from the Man-Loving God who is Master of the Universe.

Now 99.9% of the vocations and avocations and general living tasks in this world don’t require a pecker or a pussy or boobs or whatever to fulfill. There may be some things that generally men are better at or some that generally women are better. But ultimately, individual skills, physique, etc. are the determining factors. Football (yech!). OK. Most women would get creamed, but then so would I. There may be many women who can do it - let ‘em. Who cares? Now socially, I am an old atavism: when I go dancing, I lead, woman follows. Me Tarzan, you Jane, etc.

Now in the whole gender thing, what IS a real man? I don’t really like this term. It doesn’t get to the heart of the matter. I really like the Yiddish word mensch. The Yiddish meaning of the word is actually pretty simple: a good person, a role model. Now this gets closer to the roots of the thing.

A mensch should:

Have personal integrity.

Be capable of kindness to those under him or in his care.

Be respectful and polite to everyone he meets.

Be strong when needed.

Be firm when needed.

Be gentle when needed.

Be brave when needed.

Be capable of discerning which is needed and when.

Show the love of God to his neighbors and see the face of God in each child of God, even the Moslems, and I really have trouble with this one.

Know when to apologize, even to a child, if necessary.

Be humble before God, and be neither arrogant nor falsely humble to other people

Be prepared to protect those under his care, even with his life, if necessary

Be the head of the family even as a good captain on a ship.

Come to think of it, I struggle with just about every item on the above list every day.

Now nothing of the above list has beans to do with being a bully, putting anyone else down, etc. My observation is that a man who needs to marry a maid is in sad shape and is not much of a man. Also if one has to bully those weaker to feel superior, treatment, up to and including surgery to remove the ugly growth above the neck may be indicated. It doesn’t even have to do with sex, a mensch is still a mensch even if his balls get shot off.

Now the list for a woman is just about the same thing, isn’t it? The only difference is in the last item, which (unless she is single) should read:

Be the fit helpmate even as a good executive officer on a ship.

And likewise, a woman is still a woman even after a hysterectomy or mastectomy.

Now a general note on all this: even as any good captain in his right mind will consult the xo on any major decision and then stand responsible for the results, so it should be in a healthy relationship. Things can shift back and forth according to the abilities and so forth of the individuals at hand. Herself is an exceptionally intelligent and capable human (well, not so much physically, any more) and I damn sure respect her brains and opinions and listen to her on most anything. However, on decisions that affect the ship of this household - the ultimate responsibility is mine, even if it is her decision that we are going with, I am still responsible and must not reproach her if everything does not turn out perfectly. (Told you I was an atavism).

I don’t belong to the camp that thinks that gay or tranny or adulterer or whatever are just choices. There is too much decent (not pop-junk) science that shows that there are differences. However, I do think that we do control our reactions to whatever nature/nurture and experience have brought to our tables. My favorite sport once was adultery, but when Herself and I married I determined not to practice it again. I haven’t and won’t. This is not meant to be anything other that a general comment on our society. Too many scratch any old itch that they have at the moment with little thought of the consequences. This will lead to a downfall of society in general.

General affect can be a real misleader. Some of the most testosterone laced manly men that I have known are queer as a three and so on. I also remember a fellow that my ex knew. He was one of the absolutely nelliest guys I have ever know. I mean he swished with the best. Any normal reaction would be that this fella’ needed wrist splints. He was also one of the most dedicated (and successful) womanizers I ever met.

What does all this lead to? Hell - I don’t know. Take it for what it’s worth.

Bah, humbug –

Hollyweird is strange on many fronts. Nowhere is it any stranger than on Christmas.

The staunch liberals would like for Christmas (and Christians) to just go away. There are schools all over that will not allow Christmas decorations. If we object to “Sally has two daddies” or “Jimmy has two mommies” then we are nothing but a bunch of homophobes and should not have a voice in what is taught to our children. Flip side. Let one jackass object to Miracle on 34th Street and the principal and/or school board will forbid showing the film so that the aforementioned jackass is not offended.

If the Hollyweird types were true to their hyper-liberal convictions there would be no Christmas films being made. Instead, they are true to two things: the liberal agenda to destroy Christmas, and, first and foremost, the almighty dollar. What does happen is that the Christmas films made have nothing to do with Christmas. Die Hard, Lethal Weapon and many others were deliberately scheduled for Christmas release. Don’t get me wrong, I do like these movies, but what on earth do they have to do with Christmas? Answer – nothing at all.

Or the movies are deliberately to the detriment of Christmas and/or the perennial “What is the true meaning of Christmas” pieces of fluff. Hate to say it, but the two that first come to mind are How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Berenstain Bears’ Christmas Tree, both by liberal Jews. No – I am not anti-Semitic, I simply state that neither Jews nor liberals are qualified to address “The real meaning of Christmas”. It would be as presumptuous if I were to write a children’s book on the real meaning of Hanukkah or Ramadan.

As a side note to conservative types: be advised, Christmas trees, Santa Claus, snowmen, winter wonderlands and any of those other commercial and/or pagan symbols have nothing to do with Christmas. Nothing. Even Dickens’s Christmas Carol does not have anything to do with Christmas. Not that I would deny your use of these symbols. Not at all. But do be aware that they are not ultimately all that important.

Christmas is Christ Mass. The celebration of the Incarnation of God as Man. The beginning of the Redemption and Recreation of the fallen world. Nothing else. Not warm and fuzzy feelings. Jesus was not a good man. He was not a prophet. He was either God, as He stated, or He was stark, raving, totally mad.

See what I mean? Ghosts of Christmas don’t have anything to do with the Redemption of the fallen world. Love of Man flows from Love of God. Thy neighbor is the second commandment, not the first for a very good reason. We cannot truly love our neighbor if we do not love God first. Placing Man in the place of God will inevitably lead to self-hatred and disgust with the very people we claim to love.

Our Church is on the original, Julian Calendar. Christmas is celebrated on December 25th, as it is in the Gregorian Calendar. There is slippage between the two calendars and dates no longer match. Currently, Julian December 25th coincides with Gregorian January 7th. This is sometimes called Old Christmas or Russian Christmas or Greek Christmas. Many ignorant people think that the Orthodox Church celebrates Christmas on January 7th. Not so, we use December 25th – Julian. Notice the difference. Anyway, the point is that in my Church we really don’t care what the Western Christians do. We don’t care whether Western Christmas is commercialized or not. What we do say is that the Western Christians should be free to celebrate as they choose. The libs and atheists are welcome to ignore the whole thing if they like, but they should not be allowed to cram their beliefs down everyone else’s throat. Freedom is ignoring other’s conduct if it does no one harm and is not morally repugnant. Forbidding another’s harmless conduct is denying freedom. Liberals do not want freedom, they want to dictate how others live.

If we object to having Moslem holidays shoved down our throats then we are hateful bigots. If we object to having our traditions trampled all over then we are hateful bigots. If we try to live a life in the love of Christ then we are hateful bigots. Notice that Christians cannot win where atheists/radical liberals are concerned. At some point we have to tell these people to get a grip, grow up, get used to it, or get over it. The only appeasement that works is if we become exactly like them. That is their agenda. And to them I say – BAH, HUMBUG!

Music in my life – and other things

It is somewhat interesting to me to reflect on the role music has played in my life. It has been a comfort, a pleasure, a challenge and a journey.

I had about 6 months to a year of accordion lessons when I was 6. This taught me to read music in the fashion of a child. I didn’t do much with it when I was younger.

Then there was playing the trumpet (poorly) in the high school band in the 9th grade. I’m not sure what that taught me other than that playing with a band could be fun.

Then teaching myself sax and clarinet and…

Then there was picking up the piano when I was 16 and teaching myself to play and read music of the bass clef persuasion (accordion only uses chord notation in bass clef). I never got to be really good, but was good enough to play boogie in a dive down on West Peachtree Street for a while. (Yes – I was underage). A side story: Sometime around the time that Herself & I first married my mother was retired and had a mania for travel and cruises. She decided that she wanted to travel in Germany and visit an old friend who was teaching at the American School in Germany. Anyway, usually she took my sister with her on trips, but Sis could not go for some reason, so she asked me if I would go with her. Herself had no objections, so I did. Rather fun (it would have been better if Herself were there, but I got closer to Mother, so not a loss). We stayed on a tour boat that went down the Rhine from Munich to Amsterdam, and stopped at every decent town on the way. (The Red Light district in Amsterdam was interesting and no, I didn’t). We left the boat in Heidelberg and took Eurorail to Wiesbaden to meet the friend. We all went to a local place to eat dinner and have some beer (of course!) The place had a really good piano player knocking out some really decent 40s style boogie. (I heard more & better jazz in Europe than in America). Anyway, when he took a break I was asked to play by mother and friend, and the owner had no objection, so I did. Really pulled out the stops on some wild stomp boogie. The patrons seemed to enjoy it. Later a gal came in with 2 men and started dancing with them (not at the same time). This gal wasn’t particularly pretty, but wow, she could really move on a jitterbug. I commented to the friend that I would love to dance with her, but that it just didn’t do to approach a strange woman in a bar when she already had 2 male escorts. (Good way to get hurt in the good ol’ USA). Friend said that I was being silly and that there was no problem in Germany. Just go ask her. Well, what the hell. So I did. So she did. Wow – that gal was outstanding. We finished dancing. Me exhausted – smoked too much and hadn’t seriously danced for a couple of years. Out of shape. But you know – I couldn’t pay for ANYTHING in that bar the rest of the night. Food and drink on the house. Loads of fun.

Anyway, that was the end of music, other than the occasional desultory plinking at the piano for a while. Work does get in the way of hobbies.

After we converted to Orthodoxy, Herself’s godfather, who was the choir director at the little mission, noticed that I was a very deep bass (not quite Russian contra, but close) and got me to singing. Bit of a surprise. I grew up a Whiskypalian (where there’s four, there’s a fifth) and could never sing a lick with the organ grinding out funeral dirge sounding music and I certainly can’t sing pop stuff. Turned out I could sing bass rather well with acapella Russian music. Thank God the Church Fathers decided that only the Human voice was proper for church music! Later we moved to a little mission that was in Alpharetta at the time. There was no choir, no director. Nothing. The music was HORRIBLE. This is a major problem since the Orthodox services are completely sung. We are talking about a 1.5 to 2 hour stretch of very painful amateurs slogging poorly. I told Herself that I liked the mission but could not take that pain. She talked to the priest behind my back (sneaky woman!). As a result, the priest came to me and asked that I become director. I had no idea how to direct. No books. Didn’t know how to give tones to a choir. Didn’t know how to direct (choral directing is NOT beating time!) I had to learn all that in a hurry. I got a midi keyboard and some software so that I could make my own books. Had to learn how to score for choir, how to read Old Church Slavonic and translate into English. The church sent me to a couple of choir director conventions where I got to meet and study with some of the real biggies. Eventually I acquired all the skills of a Russian choir director (in English). Got pretty fair. I had one of the best choirs in the South (not just my opinion!). Turns out that over the years I wrote something like 14 choir books for various services (average 1” thick double sided letter). I just looked in the directory where the stuff is stored and it is 1,337 separate pieces at 20.5 meg in a pretty efficient file format. Some short and some running up 15 pages of solid music. Not bad for a self-taught duffer. Herself has put a very small amount on the web HERE.

If you go there and look you may become a little confused if you try to play this stuff by normal western rules. Most of the stuff doesn’t have time signatures. If you try to count beats per measure, you can go nuts. Only some of the stuff written in the late 19th century (or early 20th) has strict meter. The older stuff is really a chant form, rather than a “singing” music form. The words are the important thing, not necessarily the accuracy of the meter. Some of the really early (9th – 11th century) is modal as can be and is rather strange to the modern western ear. Of course, the early stuff is really influenced by Byzantine chant. Really weird chord progressions. See the Byzantine Lord’s Prayer or the Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy) on the above web site for a taste. You can sometimes see where I have used some of this with the serial numbers filed off and the body lines reworked. You should try a listen to some decent good Russian Church Music (there’s lots on the web). I think you will like it as music. After all, Tchaikovsky, Rimsky-Korsakov and all the Russian greats were influenced by (and wrote) church music. Matter of fact, there is a Tchaikovsky Trisagian (Holy God) and a Rimsky-Korsakov Lord’s Prayer on that web site. Normal, everyday music for us!

Anywho – I really loved directing for all those years and really miss it. But – the body can’t take it anymore. I tell you, to have a good choir respond to your every body move with glorious music, just wow. Couple of times I had really large choirs of good singers: 50 or so. Church conventions. Better than booze or acid. It is like flying when it is right. Rather physically demanding though. Standing and waving your arms for two hours is too much for an old, broke down guy. Not to mention the strain of keeping everyone in order. I never could decide whether choir directors went to Heaven because of all their travails or to Hell because they wanted to choke the daylights out of the clergy and choristers.

Old Church Slavonic – when Sts. Cyril and Methodios went to Moravia to preach to the Slavs, they followed the traditional Orthodox method of translating the Scriptures and service books into the local language. The script used is still called Cyrillic. The Slavs had a whole bunch of similar, but separate dialects. The amalgam of these dialects into something reasonably comprehensible to all of them became Church Slavonic. This is not exactly Russian, but still somewhat close. There was discussion at the Moscow Sobor (Church Convention) of 1917 about reworking the Scriptures and Service Books into modern Russian since people could not clearly understand Slavonic without some training. (The average Russian comes close to understanding, but no cigar). When the bullets started flying (literally), the discussion was abruptly shelved (and the delegates ducked). I knew some of the people that were there. These tough old Russian Christians lived long and hard (if they weren’t killed). Beautiful people. It is anticipated that sometime in the next several years this will come back up for resolution. The Church currently has somewhat more pressing things in trying to recover from all the years of Soviet persecution. (Very real. Very bad. Somewhere between 20 and 30 MILLION new martyrs).

Prosphora –

For many, many years I was the chief baker for our church. In the Orthodox Church the communion bread must be made by hand by a member of the parish. Now frequently, if the priest if full-time, the bread is made by him or his wife. Our priest worked full-time. I somehow got into being the Prosphora (Communion Bread) baker. Now this bread is very simple, but it must be perfect or it cannot be used. There must be no machinery used in the making, it must be completely by hand. It is the most basic bread I know:
Prosphora

3½ cups very warm water
2 pk yeast
1 tsp salt
10 to 14 cups unbleached or all-purpose NOT bread flour (This bread is really sensitive to how much moisture is in the air at they time of baking)

Mix it, knead it, beat it, you know the drill. Keep adding flour until it is warm, smooth, punches back, does not stick to the finger, and add absolutely no more flour. After the first rise, roll it out to a reasonable thickness, and cut a bottom and a top for each loaf. Some 4” to 5” or so in diameter. Several about 2” diameter, or whatever size the priest likes. Moisten the top of the bottom. Flour the bottom of the top. Stick them together. Firmly impress with the floured seal. Let rise again. Bake in a 350° oven that is humidified. A pan of water is OK, but get it boiling while the oven warms. Bake until they ring hollow, not soggy, and are light tan at the very darkest. If they are dark on the bottom they cannot be used for services. Let cool on a rack. These can be frozen and thawed the night before the service. They must not be allowed to dry out or they are not acceptable for the service.

Now, the Russians are a bit fussy about the size and number of the loaves, 5 main loaves and a slew of the smaller ones. The Greeks and Arabs tend to use just one big loaf. The Coptics (Egyptians and Ethiopians) have the women of the parish each bring in a loaf. The priest then chooses the loaves that will be used in the service. Since it is considered an honor to have your loaf used, this gets to be a competition and a source of pride. Not a good thing.

Of course, the above bread takes a reasonable amount of hand and arm strength. So I don’t anymore.

Saints and other interesting critters –

English is an interesting and polyglot language derived from many sources. People don’t seem to realize just how much the language used affects the thought process. But, the fact is, we cannot conceptualize without words. Words wind up carrying overtones and flavorings which go beyond the mere dictionary definitions.

The word saint derives from the Latin sanctus, which does mean holy. The early church did not write in Latin, but in Greek. Now, in Greek the word is άγιος (hagios), which also means holy. The difference is that that hagios carries the additional overtones of “holy one”.

In the Western Roman church the term saint carries a whole concept involving the whole canonization process. Emphasis on the legal proceedings, canonical court, devil’s advocate and all that stuff. Emphasis is put on outward and visible miracles and all that. Saint’s wind up being almost a different category from most humans.

In the Eastern Orthodox Church the whole understanding is different, not “saint” like a military title, but “holy one” as in participates in the Kingdom of Heaven. The sense is that, as in the New Testament, the saints are among us. Indeed, anyone who is or will be in Heaven is holy. There is no particular formal mechanism for canonization. A saint is declared as such when the people of some area decide that they are. No courts, no investigations, no formal legal proceedings. There are thousands of local saints that are not on any official list. A given saint may be placed on a national church’s calendar when enough people in that area decide to honor that person. This can result in otherwise unsavory people being venerated as “holy ones”.

I have met many living “holy ones”. There is one abiding characteristic among all – the overwhelming love that pours from them. You do not have any doubt that these people love God with all their might. You also do not have and doubt that you are loved. It can be rather overwhelming to be in the presence of these people. It draws like a magnet. It can also be frightening. Other than this holy and heavenly love, there is very little else that these people have in common. They may be genius, they may not have a full deck. They may be highly educated, they may be quite ignorant. They may be urbane and charming, they may have the manners of a pig. They may not even be housebroken. They are real people. They can even be people you wouldn’t want in your home.

Some of the Orthodox saints are rather unsavory, at best. St. Moses the Black comes to mind. One of the many African Saints. Oh yes, many people do not seem to realize that Africa had a ton of early church activity and that many of the early Saints were black. Anyway, Moses was a bad boy. He was an escaped slave, gangster, robber, and murderer. He was a huge, powerful and terrifying man. He and his gang attacked a monastery to pillage. Moses was so impressed by the abbot that he repented. Long, agonizing story short, he became a monk, a priest, and an abbot himself. He was martyred in 405 by the Berbers, at 75 years of age.

There are a whole series of “transvestite nuns”, a remarkable group, mostly women, who dressed as men and lived as monks in the Eastern church. Most of these are recorded from the 5th to the 9th centuries. Of course, in the current culture, we would assume that anyone who cross-dresses is also sexually active. This was not the case. These were people whose bodies did not match their genders, and in a celibate monastic life the gender of the body is somewhat irrelevant. There were also men dressed as women in the female convents. Somewhat less frequent. Not only did this not really bother the Orthodox, but note that several of these people are now recognized and loved as holy ones.

There is also the intriguing group known as “fools for Christ”. Юродивый is Russian for Holy Fool. The original inspiration is 1st Corinthians 4:10 - “We are fools for Christ’s sake, but ye are wise in Christ; we are weak, but ye are strong; ye are honorable, but we are despised.” There are all kinds of theology and discussion to go along with the whole concept. The fact is that a lot of these people did not play with a full deck, yet were nevertheless recognized as “holy ones” by the people around them. Contrary to the delusions of some, Harvard or Yale are not like Heaven. An IQ test is not required for entrance into Heaven.

The man known as St. John of San Francisco was John Maximovitch. He was quite recent and current, he only died in 1966. In the Roman way he would not even be eligible for consideration much before 2066. In the Orthodox Church he is a saint on the calendar of the Russian Church Abroad and has been for several years. His veneration began almost on the day of his death, his holiness was recognized during his life. He was Bishop of San Francisco and would frequently scandalize some of the more staid parishioners. He had no patience with social convention and would often interrupt social occasion to declare that there had been enough frivolity, it was time to pray. The children of his cathedral once made him a paper mache miter (fancy bishops hat). It looked pretty dreadful. He stopped the service, removed his golden brocade and jeweled miter, set it aside and placed the paper mache miter on his head. He did the rest of the very formal and beautiful service with this garish thing. He said that the children’s loving gift was far more beautiful and pleasing to God. Some of the stuffier parishioners were totally horrified. He would give his shoes to someone homeless and then wander into some important meeting in the Cathedral barefoot. In Shanghai when his church was closed by the communists he celebrated the services in the middle of the street using a card table. At considerable risk to his life, the communists had already martyred several of his people. He was loved all across the globe for his direct and loving (and tactless) approach to the Christian life. He served as priest or bishop on every continent of the world except Antarctica.

The Kingdom of God does not follow social convention. Neither do all the holy ones. Some very peculiar and surprising people have been models of faith and love. Maybe we need to rearrange some of our American notions of what is “proper”?

Old monks and the WCC –

In the 60’s or 70’s, I forget which, there was a convention of the WCC – World Council of Churches – in Atlanta. I vaguely remember it being at the Pascal’s Motor Inn on Hunter Street, now Martin Luther King Boulevard. At that time many of the Orthodox Churches belonged to the WCC, even though it was acknowledged as a very liberal organization not in keeping with Orthodoxy. Why? Well, the Orthodox Churches in the Soviet Union and those countries under their influence had no other way of communicating with the West. Even the KGB had no objection, since they felt that liberal organizations would help weaken Christianity and democracies.

Anyway, the delegates were met in session and one of the members was bemoaning the current state of faith in the West. He plaintively wailed, “What we need is to learn to pray!” One of the Russian delegates, an old, very pious monk, stood up and said in a very calm manner, “This is how to learn to pray. Join the thumb and the first two fingers or the right hand – this represents the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Fold the little finger and the ring finger against the palm – this is for the two natures of our Beloved Savior. We sign ourselves on the forehead, the stomach, the right shoulder and then the left, blessing ourselves with the power of the Cross. We then humbly say “Our Father, Who art in the Heavens, …”

There was complete silence in the meeting. Now that the Soviet Union has collapsed, the Communist country Orthodox Churches no longer belong to liberal organizations.