Men’s lives are easier -

I think that men don’t always realize just how much easier and more uncomplicated their lives are. Now, we get up, scratch here and there (you know where you scratch). We take care of some business, grab a quick shower, shave (if we’re dumb enough), brush teeth, comb hair (if any left), and get dressed.The dressing part is not too hard. What are we doing today? Work? Grab some appropriate work clothes. The most complicated sartorial decision we ever make is boxers or jockeys. Drag on some socks (they may match), drag on the aforementioned shorts. Let’s see, shirt, pants, belt or suspenders, pocket stuff, shoes. Yep. Good to go. Kiss wife, grab coffee, hit road. Done.

Now, for a woman, it gets a whole lot more complicated. Make coffee for the growling beast. Get said beast up. Get kids ready. Get everyone else out. Where were we? Oh, yeah - bath. Well, do I want a bath or a shower? Partly depends on whether the legs and pits need a shave or not. OK, shave legs & pits - bath. Do I have time for some bubbles? What kind do I feel like today? OK, good and clean. Brush teeth. Which clothes? dress, skirt & blouse (business or frilly?), slacks, shorts - not just what do I have to do today, but - who will I see - and where? OK, decisions made. Dress. Nice. This one will do. Where’s that bra that goes with this damn dress?

Bras - my daughter-in-law is very well endowed. 40-DDD or thereabouts. One of her comments on the topic was to the effect that the 70s feminazi bra burners must have been a flat-chested bunch. To hell with what men (or anyone else) wanted, it hurt not to wear a support bra. Another comment was that if men had to drag around that much dead weight, their backs would hurt too and they wouldn’t be so damn fascinated with the things. They get in the way. A lot.

Anyway, bra, got the bra. What kind of panties? Does this dress show a panty line? Got to make it match. Stockings. Which color? At least we no longer have to fool with girdles or garter belts. Panty hose is a good thing. Unless you have to get to a toilet in a hurry. Slip - got it.

Side note: When I was a kid, may be 5 or 6 or somewhere in there, I was curious about everything, as kids are. Now, I had no desire to be a girl or wear girl’s clothes, but I was curious. I tried on my mother’s girdle once. I was, of course, much smaller, particularly around my non-existent hips and butt. I still remember how constricting and straight-jacket like it was. I’m surprised women could walk in those things.

OK, we got all the foundation stuff on. Time for makeup. Damn, used to be easier when we could see without glasses. OK, let’s get the foundation on, mostly by feel. OK, next layer. Let’s see (if we could see it wouldn’t be a problem, dammit!), OK, glasses on, do blush around them, mouth, everything but the eyes. Maybe if we hold the glasses out with one hand we can kind of see enough to do the eyes with the other hand. Nope. OK, do the eyes by feel and guess. Put the glasses on and check it out. Repeat and correct if necessary until it’s right.

Oh! Goodness, which deodorant and cologne? Got ‘em. Now the dress. Carefully, don’t want to smear the makeup or stain the dress. Now the earrings and necklace. Bracelet? Watch? Broach? Maybe a scarf. But - which ones go with. And of those, which do I feel like today.

Hurrah! At last - shoes! Flats? Heels? Wear flats, take heels?

Another side: I taught ballroom dancing many, many years ago. We had to learn the female part in order to teach females. On one of the training days we had to wear (and dance in) heels all day. I damn near killed myself, and these were only about 2 ½” heels. And wow, did my feet and legs ache! I don’t see how women do it, but they do. And it looks good.

Oh my God - the purse from yesterday doesn’t even come close. Don’t panic. Just flip the contents over to the right one. Wherever it is. Found! Changed! Feed the dog, out the door. Ready!

Now a couple of comments here. It isn’t enough just to talk the talk. Women must also walk the walk. You could dress me up all day, and try as I might, I could never hold myself or move so that the dress looked good. There’s something mystical and wonderful about the way women move. But, it’s not just the sex, it’s the gender. I have seen women wear a dress and look almost as bad as I would. I have also seen trannys that looked dynamite (and moved wonderfully). Which is sex and which is gender?

Another comment is that men are not girlfriends. We may not gush about how wonderful you look today. But we notice. And we do appreciate. A lot. And you do too know it. When you cross a room moving good, you know when every male eye in the place follows you. And it feels grand!

Last observation: all that complex stuff is usually accomplished in about the same time as a man takes to get up and dress. Wow. Never mind the traditional (dumb) male jokes about how they wait for women. Women are amazing. One of God’s very best ideas.

What is a man -

Forgive me if I drag the Church in fairly heavily. I am an Orthodox Christian - and I do mean way down deep - all the way. I cannot discuss things that really mean much to me without explaining the Church’s position. Especially since in this country “Christian” has become such a pejorative, partly due to the antics of the fringier protestants, and partly due to the reactionary hatred of Christianity (as mis-understood) by the phase 4 liberals. Remember my 5 classes of politics? I find it interesting that the ACLU is all for the University of Michigan (I think?) putting in footbaths for Moslem students at $25,000, but has a hernia if some Christian wants to pray on campus. Lets see - Christians are worse than people who want to kill us? Shows the consistency of modern hatred of Christians.This whole Sex/Sexuality/Gender thing is somewhat overrated. Look here, lets start with sexuality. We here in America think that where there’s an itch, it must be scratched. Pish and likewise tush. In the Orthodox Church we have had gay priests for CENTURIES. Here’s the rules: a married man may be Ordained. However all Bishops are single (either widowers or never married), and no ordained man may become married. If one is gay, then one confesses same. If one is ordained and/or living the Christian life, there is NO sex outside marriage. Period. We do not get emotional about what lights your fire - there is NO sin in being attracted to the same sex. You just don’t have to follow the itch if you are not married to same. (I’m only speaking within the Church, this is not directed at anyone outside). Even active gays are dealt with the same as anyone else who is having sex outside marriage. This is not to say that the Bishops don’t look extra hard before they ordain someone gay - they do. And said individual does not go around blabbing it to the rest of the world. Gossip, cruelty, indifference are just as deadly as licking the wrong organ if not more so. Please note: we do not think that our views should be the law of the land. These rules are for us, not everyone else. And outside the church we rather think that each individual must make up his own mind as long as he harms no one else. Please note that Church doctrine and the position of the individual in that Church are not always the same. Individual Orthodox are just as capable as anyone else of being cruel assholes. They just don’t have Church backing in hatred. There is no place for hatred within the heart of the practicing Christian. It must be rooted out with prayer, fasting, and confession. Hatred is a deadlier sin than just about any other and separates us from the Man-Loving God who is Master of the Universe.

Now 99.9% of the vocations and avocations and general living tasks in this world don’t require a pecker or a pussy or boobs or whatever to fulfill. There may be some things that generally men are better at or some that generally women are better. But ultimately, individual skills, physique, etc. are the determining factors. Football (yech!). OK. Most women would get creamed, but then so would I. There may be many women who can do it - let ‘em. Who cares? Now socially, I am an old atavism: when I go dancing, I lead, woman follows. Me Tarzan, you Jane, etc.

Now in the whole gender thing, what IS a real man? I don’t really like this term. It doesn’t get to the heart of the matter. I really like the Yiddish word mensch. The Yiddish meaning of the word is actually pretty simple: a good person, a role model. Now this gets closer to the roots of the thing.

A mensch should:

Have personal integrity.

Be capable of kindness to those under him or in his care.

Be respectful and polite to everyone he meets.

Be strong when needed.

Be firm when needed.

Be gentle when needed.

Be brave when needed.

Be capable of discerning which is needed and when.

Show the love of God to his neighbors and see the face of God in each child of God, even the Moslems, and I really have trouble with this one.

Know when to apologize, even to a child, if necessary.

Be humble before God, and be neither arrogant nor falsely humble to other people

Be prepared to protect those under his care, even with his life, if necessary

Be the head of the family even as a good captain on a ship.

Come to think of it, I struggle with just about every item on the above list every day.

Now nothing of the above list has beans to do with being a bully, putting anyone else down, etc. My observation is that a man who needs to marry a maid is in sad shape and is not much of a man. Also if one has to bully those weaker to feel superior, treatment, up to and including surgery to remove the ugly growth above the neck may be indicated. It doesn’t even have to do with sex, a mensch is still a mensch even if his balls get shot off.

Now the list for a woman is just about the same thing, isn’t it? The only difference is in the last item, which (unless she is single) should read:

Be the fit helpmate even as a good executive officer on a ship.

And likewise, a woman is still a woman even after a hysterectomy or mastectomy.

Now a general note on all this: even as any good captain in his right mind will consult the xo on any major decision and then stand responsible for the results, so it should be in a healthy relationship. Things can shift back and forth according to the abilities and so forth of the individuals at hand. Herself is an exceptionally intelligent and capable human (well, not so much physically, any more) and I damn sure respect her brains and opinions and listen to her on most anything. However, on decisions that affect the ship of this household - the ultimate responsibility is mine, even if it is her decision that we are going with, I am still responsible and must not reproach her if everything does not turn out perfectly. (Told you I was an atavism).

I don’t belong to the camp that thinks that gay or tranny or adulterer or whatever are just choices. There is too much decent (not pop-junk) science that shows that there are differences. However, I do think that we do control our reactions to whatever nature/nurture and experience have brought to our tables. My favorite sport once was adultery, but when Herself and I married I determined not to practice it again. I haven’t and won’t. This is not meant to be anything other that a general comment on our society. Too many scratch any old itch that they have at the moment with little thought of the consequences. This will lead to a downfall of society in general.

General affect can be a real misleader. Some of the most testosterone laced manly men that I have known are queer as a three and so on. I also remember a fellow that my ex knew. He was one of the absolutely nelliest guys I have ever know. I mean he swished with the best. Any normal reaction would be that this fella’ needed wrist splints. He was also one of the most dedicated (and successful) womanizers I ever met.

What does all this lead to? Hell - I don’t know. Take it for what it’s worth.

Old Farts –

I like old farts.

I am past-president of a local woodworking club. I am founder of the local woodturner’s club. Most of the members are old guys. Now, not all are old. Not all are guys. But most are both. I look out and I see wrinkles, age spots, stooped bodies. These wrinkles are honorable battle scars from daily combat. These age spots are medals for honorable conduct in the course of their lives. The stoop comes from bearing the daily weight of responsibility for family.

These guys have been through the conflicts of life and emerge victorious. They are heroes. These old men are sweet, as properly aged meat is sweet. They are sharing and caring, willing and eager to share any knowledge of woodworking or any other life experience they have. After all, they have trained and raised sons and daughters to be successful humans and useful citizens, so it is an easy extension for them.

They have proven to be loving, generous and kind. They have lived with the same women for 30, 40, 50, 60 years and have been steady and loving husbands. They can still see the vivacious and vibrant (and gorgeous) young women they first loved in the grand old ladies that are their wives.

If you look closely you can still see the tall, straight, strong, handsome and proud young men still present in the weakened and aching bodies. But tempered by experience. Aged to wisdom, like fine spirits. Shaped and polished by the rough edges of life. Gentle humor as a daily way of coping.

Oh yes, I like old farts.

Liberal Hypocrisy –

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is a convicted felon and heroin junkie. He has stated that anyone who disagrees with his extremist environazi position is a traitor. If someone on the right stated that anyone who disagreed with them was a traitor the liberal press would crucify them. For days. Look how long they howled for Don Imus’s blood. The Duke Lacrosse case got tons of press when they were after the player’s hides. I noticed a whole lot less coverage of their clearing and the crazy DA’s indictment. Bobby, Jr. won’t have this. He is a liberal, and so is the press. They like him.

Dianne Feinstein is guilty of using her senatorial committee position to steer military contracts to her husband’s arms firm. You don’t see that one in the press. They like her.

Edward Kennedy is a drunk. He is either a murderer or guilty of drunken incompetence while leaving Mary Jo Kopekne to die a horrible death. The press likes him.

John Kerry is a liar and a giver of aid and comfort to an enemy of the United States while in a condition of war. He met, as a private citizen, with the representatives of the North Vietnamese government while shooting was still going on. This is a matter of public record. It is also recorded at the North Vietnamese museum, with Kerry shown as one of their heroes. It is also against the law, and can carry the death penalty. This is beside the issue of whether or not he has lied about his service in Vietnam. His stories have been inconsistent and the Swiftboat Veterans were there. The press wasn’t. But they like him.

Joe Kennedy made his money as the banker for the mob. Edward owns lots of oil company stock. (So does Michael Moore).

And so on. Not that the Republicans are any better, but the press does crucify them. If they blow their noses wrong. Whether there is a real story or not.

I see that the Kerry’s have several limousines and SUV’s. I don’t see them with any hybrid cars. I don’t see them with ethanol, which doesn’t work. Corn has to be subsidized to make ethanol from corn even vaguely affordable. When corn is used for ethanol, the price of staples goes up. Taxes go up. The price of fuel goes up. The poor are the ones that suffer most. Some compassion. But wait – Brazil makes it work nicely! Well yes. They do. They use sugar cane for ethanol, not corn. Corn is a lousy energy hog. It takes more energy to grow it than it yields. Sugar cane is pretty efficient. We don’t have enough land that is available for sugar cane to amount to beans where fuel is concerned. Anyway, where was I. Oh yeah, the Kerrys are not called to task. The liberals like them.

I see private jets used by all these rich, environmentally conscious liberals. When (rarely) anyone in the press has the temerity to question the use of private jets, the rationale is that “emission reduction credits” are used.

Let’s see. Emission Reduction Credits. ERCs. That’s where you don’t reduce your own pollution, you buy these credits from someone who has reduced pollution below the mandated levels and can therefore sell their credits.

So, the conclusion here is that if you are rich enough, you can buy the credits to maintain any lifestyle you damn well please. Kind of like the indulgences that the Medieval Western Church was selling. Rape, murder, adultery, whatever. Just buy your way out. Of maybe it was more like the draft in the Civil War. You could buy your way out of the draft. If you had $300 you could avoid service by paying someone else to pay the final price. I don’t see a whole lot of difference.

I don’t know that I have a lot of beef with people who honestly believe that we should reduce environmental impact. That is a worthy goal that should be everyone’s. We might disagree on how to get there. That’s ok. What does really bite is the worship of these lying hypocrites that lead the libs. If Republicans act anywhere near like these people, the outcry from the press and the mass of libs is loud and long. I only ask that the playing field be level. Hold these lying slimeballs to the same standards. Hate speech is hate speech, whether by RFK, Jr. or some wild-eyed ethnic hater.

It is popular on the left to characterize the Nazis as right wing. Not so, totalitarianism is the last thing a conservative can embrace. A conservative is interested in individual freedom. For everyone. Any group that would use the power of government – read armed force – to force a particular view and behavior on the populous is to be in the same bed with the Nazis. Whether the goal is power for the sake of power, or to eradicate some hated group, or to force the use of certain light bulbs, or to force some type of salvation on everyone else. Including environmental purity. Using the force of law to effect social change is always tricky and highly dangerous. What is started with the best of intentions (the road to Hell is paved with) will almost always be hijacked by extremists if there is any force involved at all.

If we really have a climate change problem – and the final scientific proof does not seem to be here yet, but there does seem to be anecdotal evidence – then instead of panicking about a light bulb or using one piece of tissue paper, or expecting cars to go away, we had better figure out the consequences. We had a climate change back in 535-536 AD. (And have had others throughout recorded history). We didn’t have any industry to blame, but the consequences were rather severe. Including famine. Do we need to think about preparing for a famine? Even the back-to-the-earthers are going to be in a hurt if crops won’t grow. I submit that if we are having climate change, then coping with the consequences and good scientific examination of the causes and possible cures are more important than trying to base public policy on a populist movement. If we waste our effort in going the wrong direction, we may feel warm and fuzzy and virtuous, but people could die if we are wrong. Lots of people. If it is within out power – doubtful, but possible – and we are to achieve any significant cure then this must be a coordinated worldwide effort. This will take people and nations all working together. Not trying to grind the ax of blaming the US for everything. Not exempting the Chinese and Africa. (Both pollute more than the US now. Both have worse human rights records than the US ever did). Everyone. Together. Rationally. No more killing because someone’s religion is different. How are you going to persuade them to stop?

Girls have more fun –

Just about all of Robert Heinlein’s later books beginning with Time Enough for Love touch on male/female sexuality, similarities and differences. (Actually, he started it in Stranger, but didn’t develop it much at the time). This is particularly a theme in Fear No Evil. But even RAH, genius that he was, missed a couple of major differences. Now, I’m not here to debate whether it is inborn or cultural. I will just observe. BTW - The conclusion of RAH is usually that women are superior. I won’t disagree with the master.

First of all, I hope that I (and you) don’t have any illusions about little girls being made of sugar and spice or any such silliness. The idea that girls are not as cruel as boys is most inaccurate. Little girls are different, but both girls and boys are unformed humans that need to be civilized. 

Having said the above, I note that little girls do silly playing. Little boys may do so for a short while, but they quickly become sober-sides and silly pretending usually stops. Pretending does not stop, but it is usually somewhat more serious. Adult role-playing type. Girls do this too, but they can also keep the playful silliness. It is instructive to note that one of the many things that the Red Hat Society does is to allow fully mature women to be silly together again. Men’s clubs do have lots of fun. But fun is usually serious business, and playful silliness is not to be found. (Not manly and dignified, y’know). 

I will admit that I have perhaps a somewhat biased view. My beloved wife seems to think that she has been a failure if she can’t get me to laugh once a day. Well – some days she can’t. But I am usually amused. My oldest and dearest friend spent hours being quite silly in a really brilliant improv fashion to get me laughing. This may or may not have been a motive. It was certainly an effect. 

My dear friend sent me a picture of the first grade class that we were in together. I am on the end, glowering as usual. My wife claims that I was born a grumpy old man. I am probably guilty as charged. I have usually had a solemn affect, I think. 

I was probably pretty sullen throughout public school. I was bored out of my mind. I remember a big hooraw that my fourth grade teacher made when book reports were assigned. I did my book report on Edison Marshal’s West with the Vikings. Now this was the story of Leif Eriksson. Adult. Fictional, but somewhat accurate. And yes, there was some sex. And some violence. It was also the most recently read book at the time. The other candidate for the report was The Campaigns of Alexander the Great. Or something like that. I didn’t think an historical analysis of Alexander’s battles would make a good report, and we had been limited to two pages or some such anyway. So – the note got sent home, and my mother had to come in to answer as to why I was doing a report on an adult book some 2” thick when the rest of the kids were doing Nancy Drew mysteries or Hardy Boys or some equivalent. I don’t remember what my mother said. I do know I didn’t get hassled about what I read again in that grade. Like I said, I was bored. And probably sullen. 

I remember being sent to the principal’s office in the 8^th grade, I don’t remember for what. I was sitting outside the office. It was one of those hot, drowsy spring days (before A.C.) and late afternoon. I was nearly asleep in the chair. The receptionist may have spoken, I don’t know. I do know that she came up and asked me if I were sick. I was quite groggy, not thinking. My nose was clogged with the spring Atlanta air. I said (and this is exact) “Yes, ma’am, I have a sinus headache.” The next thing I knew, I was in the principal’s presence being dressed down for being rude to the receptionist. She had gone to him in tears. This was a big deal. My father got to come in for a conference the next morning. I got beatings from both of them. To this day I don’t know what that woman thought I said. It certainly wasn’t what I did say. And I really wasn’t rude. I swear. 

That was only the first time it became apparent that people could misinterpret what was actually said. I had that problem several times when I was younger. I have been told that people were afraid of me. I have been told that I project danger. I have always been somewhat amused/bemused/confused by this. I am not and never have been all that strong compared to many of the manly-man football player types. I have never started a fight. I always considered fighting to be foolish. I have always avoided fights. I only fought if I could not get out of it. I did usually finish them in at least marginally better shape than the aggressor, for whatever that may be worth. (I might be able to whip a wet piece of spaghetti now that I am old and out of shape). I have always tried to be kind to others. I like to think that the only people that I have been rude to needed and deserved it. (At least deliberately rude). None of the above seems to have meaning where people’s perceptions are concerned. 

Anyway, as I matured I learned to try to present a somewhat less intimidating affect most of the time. It seems to work ok. I haven’t had any trouble in years. 

I’m still a grumpy old man. And I do think that girls have more fun!

Husband of the earth –

There is a movement among the leftier liberals. The participants thereof are frequently referred to as “tree-hugger” or “environazis”. Not terribly inaccurate, actually. These people are against any use of the earth’s resources. It is almost as though the earth were a goddess and we merely a nasty infection. I disagree with this proposition.

There is, as usual in human interactions, an opposite view. Clear cut, strip mine or whatever else serves the purpose. Dump the products of industry wherever it suits. These people used to be called “robber barons”. Also not terribly inaccurate. There are probably some viler epithets that can be used. They can’t be vile enough. These creatures steal not only from us, but also for our descendants. I also disagree with this proposition, even more strongly.

Now, in Genesis it is recorded that God gave Man dominion over the earth. You can get all kinds of explanation of that basic little statement. The anti-Christian crowd seems to think that this means Christians (and Jews) are supposed to trample the earth. This is a silly and ridiculous statement. The Greek of the Septuagint makes it abundantly clear that the concept is stewardship or husbanding. Among the meanings of husband is the original Norse meaning: Head of the household. Also the familiar: Mate of a woman. Now here’s the real article at hand: To use carefully, to conserve.

I submit that it perfectly all right to use the resources of this good earth. Carefully. The animals that are worshipped by the more radical left use the resources as they damn well please with no regard for the consequences. We must be more respectful. You don’t shit in your living room if you are civilized and housebroken. BTW – you lefties ever seen a wood after beavers have used it? Looks as bad as any clear cut I ever saw. Maybe worse. However, back to business. It is ok to harvest trees. But don’t strip the woods. Do replant properly. Take care that the animals that use the wood will be able to thrive. Mama earth is a wonderful survival machine. God gave it to us. You don’t throw gifts into a cesspool, do you? Strip mining. Actually this can be a total disaster or not. Depending. The removed material can be replaced and planted. Costs a little bit, but less costly in the long run than loosing part of the earth. And you do have to reasonable about when to use this technique. I’m afraid this does have to be covered by legislation, much as I hate extra laws. Mankind can be remarkably shortsighted. And corporations (see an earlier rant) have no conscience except profit.

Now, if you are a housebroken, responsible, and civilized person, and you borrow something from a neighbor, how do you return it? Let’s say a saw. Do you return it broken and dulled? No. You do not. You return it sharp, well oiled, and clean. If it breaks while you are using it, don’t you get it repaired or replace it at your own expense? How then, if we are borrowing God’s creation, should we not be at least as careful and considerate? For, no matter what the deeds to our land say, we don’t own it. We are only borrowing it for a time.

I love it when people miss the whole concept of manhood. Anyone with an I.Q. larger than a rock knows that women nurture. Men, well, most people don’t seem to know what men do. They work jobs, they put food on the table, they have affairs. They plot bad things all day and into the night. Whoa. Put on the brakes. If that was what men were we would have died out a long time ago. What a real man does is husbanding. Yes, he’s head of a household (or a member thereof). But wait – there’s more. For if he does not nurture his family and husband their resources responsibly the family probably won’t survive. At least in the past. Now they may survive physically, but the mind, soul, and spirit will be damaged if the guy does not properly husband his family. Extend it a bit – we must also husband our neighbors, our community, our nation, and our planet. If we fail in this, we as a society will fail and be replaced by a stronger people. If we as the human race fail, we will die in the filth we have made of God’s precious gift to us. Free will, another great gift comes into play here. We also get the consequences of our actions.

Hey — you women don’t get off scott-free, either. You must nurture and respect this earth and its resources, too. I talk more to the guys because they need it more. Women are smarter than men, frequently. You still get all the same responsibilities. O well, welcome to humanity. We’re all in the same boat!

Damn Henry Higgins, anyway –

There is a song in My Fair Lady done by Henry Higgins: “Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man?” This is one of the great mysteries of life to me. I’m sure you’ve met several of the Higgins type, they like sex with women, but don’t like women. They are incapable of any sort of reasonable relationship with a woman, and usually talk pretty bad about them.

The flip side is, of course, the women who just can’t seem to understand that their guys are not their girlfriends and will never do the touchy-feely “sharing” type things that the girlfriends would. (Well maybe a bit in the courtship phase, but not after the lust level has lowered).

Major news release: Men and Women are different critters! I personally like women a whole lot, but I am not one. Thank God Herself is an exceptional woman who realizes that I will never be her girlfriend. That is what she has a daughter, a daughter-in-law, and her biddy buddies at the Red Hat Society. Contrariwise – Herself is not “one of the guys”, even though she really likes the company of men. I can get a guy fix from the woodworkers I see every couple of weeks. Also from work. But Herself is my wife, not a guy friend, and I am her husband, not one of her girlfriends. We like it that way. One of the reasons our life has been so rich and peaceful is that Herself has never set up false expectations about what kinds of things I will or will not do. Therefore she is not disappointed when I don’t do them. Flower, birthdays, etc. I think that so many people set up false expectations about what the other person should do that the strain of having the false expectation not met can be very detrimental to said relationship.

Hormones are powerful drugs.