Lamb Chops –

When it’s spring and the birds are blooming and the trees are singing, or something like that, and a young man’s fancy turns to… Well, never mind, we know what young men’s fancy is. But an old guy’s fancy may turn to - Lamb Chops! And yes, Shari Lewis was nice for that other fancy.

Yeah, I know, we always thought of lamb as the overdone leg that mama would have sometimes. And only sissies eat lamb and I don’t like lamb. Guys, grow up, get over it. Real men eat whatever they damn well please. I know in the South manly-men don’t eat lamb. But the rest of the world does, and lamb is mighty fine eating. And yes, good lamb chops are expensive. But, if you have a Costco or something similar that does wholesale pricing, and you keep a serious lookout for sales, you just might be able to afford them. You want at least double-cut, and preferably triple-cut. The bigger the cut number, the thicker the meat. Now single-cut (about ½”) is ok for pork chops, but just will not do for lamb. Double-cut is twice as thick. Triple cut is 3 times thicker.

Set the oven for 450°.

Lamb chops, about 2 per person if you are having a good, filling, side dish or two. 3 per if they’re only double-cut. I’m talking about the small sized chops here. About ½ the size of pork chops. You’ll know them when you see them. You won’t usually see the pork chop size. They get reserved for restaurants. Or they come from sheep, not lambs. You don’t want sheep.
Now, you want some good, fresh mint. Yeah, you can use dried, but fresh is better.
You also want a good grade of mint sauce. Cross & Blackwell is the very best. You can make your own if you really want to. Mint sauce is nothing more than an infusion of mint leaves in a sweet leaching liquid. Oh, all right, a herbal vinegar, if you please:
½ cup finely chopped mint
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 cup English malt vinegar
Mix it up in a saucepan, simmer for about 20 minutes, let it cool, decant into airtight containers (old condiment bottles work well).
Take some butter, cold from the refrigerator. Add about 1 ½ tablespoons per chop.
1 clove of fresh garlic per chop, minced. Yes, they’re garlicky. Goes nicely with lamb.
Small bowl food processor or lots of elbow grease.

Put the butter in, add the garlic and get it mixed in. Add just enough mint sauce for flavor and work it in. Don’t put so much sauce in that the mixture becomes liquid. You want this to be rather stiff. That’s why we use cold butter. Work in a good amount of mint. I put in about as much as the mix will hold. Your taste may call for some less. Put the chops in a pan with a grill rack. I always line the pan with aluminum foil, otherwise it’s a mess to clean up. Set the chops on the rack, getting each as close to level as possible. Now, for each chop, dig down with your fingers beside each bone, making a little pocket. Fill the pockets with the butter mixture and keep heaping it on the chops until you run out of topping. Really mound it up. Pop in the oven for 45 minutes for triple-cut. The cooking time can be varied to suit your taste. This should get you done with very little pink. If you like your lamb a bit rarer, reduce the time. I do like mine about medium, but Herself can’t stand underdone lamb.

Of course, you can always pan-fry them. Just treat them like any other kind of meat. You know the drill - Add some olive oil, add some butter. Get the pan hot to where the mix shimmers slightly and the butter is no longer foaming. Ease the flame down between medium and medium-high depending on your range-top. Slide a little crushed garlic in and cook until it is brown, then remove the debris. Add the chops that you have salted and peppered, both sides. Try about 5 minutes a side for double-cut. This should be about medium. If this is too rare for you, just add a bit more time, but be careful of burning. You may need to reduce the heat and go for a little longer time. Anyway, garnish with some chopped mint. Serve with mint sauce.

You can also grill lamb chops, the rules are the same as for any red meat. You might try grilled with some kind of rosemary marinade. The Greeks really like rosemary with their lamb, and they are the experts. Actually, most all the Middle East types deal quite well with lamb. Look for Greek, Lebanese, and so on recipes. They are all the same basic culture, though they will all deny it. And may want to cut your throat for saying so. Alexander had the policy of mingling the cultures. Not to mention the Byzantine Empire, the Ottoman Empire - need I go on?

But I’ll get more into Middle Eastern lamb recipes at a later time. Oh hell, I might as well talk a little about kibbe - there are a million spellings. The basic kibbe is:

1 lb. Finely minced lamb. It mostly gets ground in this country - but that is not right. Keep the fat content down low.
1 medium onion, finely minced. Or more, to taste. You can also puree, but I like fine mince better.
2 teaspoons good kosher salt, or less, to taste
1 teaspoon cumin (optional)
Pepper to taste (optional)
½ cup fine burghul - cracked bulghar wheat - soaked for 30 minutes and pressed dry.

Mix the whole mess together. If it is too sticky, try adding a little water.

Now you can bake it or fry it (make that 1 cup burghul for cooked). Deep dish, patties, whatever. Don’t overcook it dry.

But the absolute best way to eat it is raw, like steak tartar. It is called kibbe naeya. I can just see the queasy looks out there. Raw lamb, yech! But it really is delicious. And I wouldn’t lie to you about something as important as food! Of course, you have to have a supply of meat that you can absolutely trust, and that may be hard. If you get clean meat, skim off the surface 1/8″ or so with a clean sharp knife and do your own grinding or mincing you are pretty safe. Anyway, get (or bake) some good fresh pita bread. Get a really good grade of extra virgin olive oil. Greek or Lebanese is better than Italian for this. Put some spicy veggies in the olive oil if you like. Now, tear off a strip of bread, get some kibbe and some olive oil on it. If you’re going to be authentic, use a central communal bowl, and only use your right hand to tear and roll the bread. Depending on the place and local custom, you might have a central dish of olive oil or one per side of the main dish, or even individual dipping bowls. All samey-samey. Chow down and enjoy - it is wonderful!

Herself’s Meatloaf

I don’t think I’ve ever made meatloaf the same way twice. As long as the Ol’ Curmudgeon likes it, I won’t worry about it. What is meatloaf? Well it’s a basic food staple.

From time immemorial, people have mixed meat with veggies, breads, thickeners and various spices, baked it in a loaf or patty, and served - sometimes with a sauce or gravy, sometimes without. They did this to stretch the meat in lean times, to use up bits of meat that otherwise might have been thrown out, and to make tough meats more digestible. In early times, the meat used was already cooked - usually leftovers - whereas now-a-days we tend to use a raw ground meat - either beef or pork, but lamb, chicken, turkey and veal can be used, also. Any meat, actually. Horse, anyone? Donkey? Goat? Yup. Any or all of the above!

What I do these days is get or make about 2 pounds of  meatloaf mix - 1/3 ground beef, 1/3 ground pork, 1/3 ground veal. Add in 1-2 sweet Italian sausages removed from the casing. Do not mix, yet!! Now the variations begin! About 1/3 - 1 cup of bread crumbs. I’ve used - pulverized bread out of the loaf, crushed croutons, crumbled cornbread, prepared breadcrumbs from the grocery. I’ve used more, I ‘ve used less. In this case, less isn’t very good, and too much more is not very good, either. Just toss them in on top of the meat. Toss in 1-4 Tbsp of some kind of meat sauce - Heinz, Worcestershire, A-1, Lea and Perrins steak sauce, etc. I tend to use a thick, savory sauce, like Lea and Perrins Steak Sauce. Chop up some onions. About a quarter cup to half a cup is good. I don’t add bell peppers, but some people do. If you add them, don’t add much, chop them up very finely, and “sweat” them before adding. Salt, pepper to taste. I use seasoned salt and lemon pepper. Only now do you mix - very lightly - just enough to get a semi-even distribution of all ingredients.

Precook, about half-way done, enough bacon to cover the top of the loaf. While the bacon is cooking, gently pack the meat into a loaf pan. Liberally cover the top with ketchup. I use Hunt’s - nice deep flavor, not too spicy. Once the bacon is about half-way done, lay the strips over the top.

Bake in a 350degF oven for about an hour, or until the meat is done in the center (145deg on meat thermometer).

The first night we have it, we just slice it and serve warm. We don’t like gravy on it, but others do. A flour gravy, a sausage gravy, brown gravy - whatever you like will work if you want gravy.

The next day, we slice thinly and make sandwiches with lots of mayo and sweet relish on them. I like some spicy dark mustard on mine; the Ol’ Curmudgeon does not. O well! To each his - or her - own!

Other things that can be done with meatloaf include  rolling up into little dough-covered packets - pasta dough makes raviolis, yeast dough makes pierogs, flatbread (pita) makes gyros, tortillas makes burritos, corndough covered with corn shucks makes tamales. Good for lunch pails. The meatloaf should be cooked before adding to these to avoid having food poisoning problems. Every culture seems to have some kind of meat roll.

Roll in packets of wonton skins and cook in chicken-miso stock - you have egg-rolls. (Leave out the meat, only use veggies, cook in miso stock - then you have spring rolls.)

Another delightful thing to do with a meatloaf mix is to roll it in softened cabbage leaves and cook all lined up and stacked in a deep pot (crock pot will do) with some vroth of some kind around it. Cabbage rolls are an Eastern European fave. Think Poland, the Ukraine, Russia, Slovakia, etc. Good with a generous dollop of sour cream on top!

Roll into little balls, cook in a skillet - voila! Meatballs! Add to some cream sauce or tomato sauce and serve over pasta - Spaghetti and Meatballs! Or, add to a savory brown sauce and - Hungarian meatballs.

It’s all the same stuff. And it’s all good, plain, basic, country cooking. Country French, country English, country Russian, country - add your own geographic area.

To get it to where you like it requires experimentation. That’s something we have problems with in our “Mickie-D” society. We want to do it fast without playing around. Some people are actually fearful of experimenting in the kitchen. To them I say, put your fears aside and get your hands dirty!!

Scotch eggs -

This one is written by Herself -The ol’ curmudgeon can rave about ground beef all he wants to, but I know what he REALLY likes! He likes Scotch Eggs. Every cool weather fast, he wants Scotch Eggs just before it starts and then wants them again in the first week or so after the fast is over!

There must be a million and one ways to make ‘em, but this is what I do. First, hardboil, shell and chill 8-12 eggs. Set aside. Then put a triple-mix of 1/3 ground beef, 1/3 ground pork and 1/3 ground veal in a large bowl - just put, don’t do anything with them yet. Then I add 2-3 SWEET Italian sausages (skinned), add a little salt, a little pepper, 2-3 tablespoons of good steak sauce, about 1/4 cup of soft breadcrumbs, and an egg or two and NOW you mix lightly, and carefully, but thoroughly into the meat mixture. (If you mix ground meat too much it gets “tough.”) Beat a couple of eggs in a dish with a tablespoon of milk and set aside. Put some breadcrumbs (Panko works, as does cornflake crumbs. I’ve even crushed croutons on occasion and used them) in another dish and set aside. Now bring about 1 1/2 inches depth of good oil to about 350 degrees F in a deep skillet. (I use my cast iron and get the heat up by guess and by golly. Now that we have an electric skillet, I may try it.) Now is the fun part. Take a dollop of meat mixture and gently shape it around an egg. Be sure there are no gaps. Do this for each egg until all the meat mixture is used up. Don’t make it too thick or it won’t cook well. Remember, this has pork in it, and must be cooked “done.” Now, roll the little darlin’s in the egg mixture, and then roll in the crumbs. Gently lay them in the hot oil, and cook about 2-3 minutes then turn and cook the side that was up. If they get too brown, the heat is too high, turn it down. If they aren’t nice and browned when you turn them, then the heat needs to be a “skosh” higher. You want the heat to be warm enough to cook them all the way through the meat without making the eggs too firm and dry.

Now, these are very rich, so one, maybe one and a half of these is a meal - even for a big appetite!! Serve them hot with either a green salad or a fruit salad on the side.

The next day, they are still good - serve ‘em cold, with that salad mentioned above.

Now that I’ve written this up, I expect the Ol’ Curmudgeon will start bugging me to make some! His food Nazi will have hiccups and then a seizure. Himself will just give her the fish eye and tell her to take it up with me. And I’ll sigh and say, “Well, what can you do with a Curmudgeon?” The occasional “fall off the cholesterol wagon” won’t hurt him (especially with all those expensive anti-cholesterol medicines he takes) - going without his favorite pre and post fasting food will hurt him. Mentally. Besides, he whines about it.

A Blessed Nativity Season (old calendar style) to all y’all out there in blogland!

I return you to your regularly-scheduled Ol’ Curmudgeon on Thursday!

Roll ‘Em Up – Beef –

Roulade is French and means a thin piece of meat rolled around some kind of filling. Most European cultures have developed some variation on the roulade. Other cultures may also, but I don’t know of any recipes off the top of my head.

Getting the meat to the right size and thickness can be accomplished several ways. Slice some thin off a London Broil or some such. Get some Italian Scaloppini. Get some medallions at the grocery and pound them thin. But one of the nicest is the lowly (and comparatively cheap) flank steak. Come to think of it, most of the roulade recipes were developed to deal with the inferior cuts of meat.

Tender cuts have little connective tissue and are suitable for rare to medium rare usage (and costs more). Cuts with lots of connective tissue are tough and unpleasant unless handled properly (and are cheaper). The principle way that everybody knows is the slow cooking method. If you cook the meat with lots of liquid slow and long the connective tissue will soften and partially dissolve. This lends flavor and tenderness. Think of the old fashioned pot roast. Chuck has to be cooked to death or it is not very appetizing. This presents problems if you don’t like overdone meat. I don’t.

There is another way around the dilemma. Instead of making shoe leather, pound the meat thin, using a tenderizing mallet. This mallet has a roughened face that will cut the connective fibers while thinning the meat. Think about it – thinner presents less mass to chew through, therefore less effort, therefore more tender. Now what you want to get to is about ¼” uniform thickness. Try not to shred the meat. It’s not so easy. You can also cheat. When you select your meat, ask the butcher to run it through his tenderizing machine a few times to get to the right thickness. The butcher should also know the right thickness for rolling. They will usually be happy to do that for you. Either way you should wind up with a piece of meat about ¼” thick, and it will be much larger in surface area than when you started.

BTW – don’t think to use a really good piece of meat for this. Pound fillet thin and it will shred.

Ok, we have some meat, we need some kind of stuffing. Sky’s the limit. If it tastes good to you go for it. I’ll give you some ideas in a minute. Spread whatever stuffing and spices over the meat, not too thick. Roll up the meat into a tight cylinder and tie it off with butcher’s twine or just stab toothpicks in to hold it together. Then roast, broil, pan-fry of whatever cooking method you want to use. Now, although it has been tenderized, it is still tough meat and you will need to get the center part at least medium.

Stuffing #1 – Sauté equal amounts chopped carrots, onions, celery, with a couple of big chopped garlic cloves in some olive oil and butter until tender. Maybe 5 minutes. Add chopped mushrooms. Sauté another 5 minutes. Mix together with salt, pepper, wine, shredded ham. Whatever spices you like. Basil is nice. Bay leaf simmered and then removed is good. Add a bit of thick crème and some beef stock. Simmer a bit and then add a couple of tablespoons of flour to thicken it up a bit. When things are stirred together and looking nice remove from heat and spread over the meat. Grate a bit of parmigiano reggiano over the top. Do the roll and tie routine and cook the way you want. I rather like it salted and peppered on the outside and sautéed in olive oil and butter, turning about every 4 to 5 minutes, depending on size. By the time you have done all sides, the center should be on the far side of medium. Let it rest a bit to absorb all the juices, then slice and serve.

Stuffing #2: Cheat. Get some packaged herb stuffing. Make per directions. Add some chopped mushrooms. Add some chopped onion and garlic. Add some French onion soup. Use any or all the add-ons to taste. Spread it on, roll up, tie, cook.

Stuffing #3: Kind of Italian pesto sort of thing. Dump whatever combo of mushroom types you like into a processor. If the mushrooms are dried, soak them in some warm water first. Add some toasted walnuts, garlic, parsley, salt, and pepper. Pulse the processor a few times, just to get things roughed. Start adding olive oil and pulsing until it is a smooth pesto. Spread it on, roll up, tie, cook.

Stuffing #4: Kind of a Bordelaise in feel. Slow cook chopped shallots until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add chopped mushrooms and a couple of sprigs of thyme. Cook another 5 minutes. Discard the thyme, add some good, rough red wine and reduce by half. This is going to be a bit liquid, so add a couple of tablespoons of flour to get a spreadable paste. Don’t overcook. Spread it on, roll up, tie, cook.

Stuffing #5: A total cheat. Use any concentrated soup that you like, cream of mushroom, whatever. Spread it on, roll up, tie, cook.

I guess you can tell a couple of things here. First of all, yes, I really like mushrooms, garlic, onions and such. Second, the filling can be just about anything that you care to throw together and spread in there. Let your taste buds be your guide.